


Paths

by M3rd3rGh02t



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Female Eren Yeager, Isekai basically, Minor Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Multi, Rule 63, Self-Indulgent, Smut, Spoilers, Tags May Change, ererei supremacy, i have no idea what im doing but i have an idea, like major spoilers, no beta we die like bertie, self insert into Eren LOL, using 'jaeger' for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:02:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29407353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3rd3rGh02t/pseuds/M3rd3rGh02t
Summary: A girl wakes up in the 'Attack on Titan' universe as 'Erina Jaeger', that's right. Eren is a girl now.disclaimer: I don't own nothing this is purely a fan-work. Erin and gang are aged up by like two years as well as most of the other characters.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager
Comments: 7
Kudos: 52





	1. Uno

My head hurt like hell, and my body felt heavy. I sat up in the bed I was laying in. Straight brown hair fell into my eyes, wait. Straight? What happened to my curls? What happened to my black curly hair? I looked at my tan hands. Tan. The only time I ever tanned was when I went outside, which was almost never. I was Hispanic, but I hated tanning because of my orange undertones. My tan was now a light golden color, and my hands were smaller than I remember. Almost childlike. 

The door to the room opened “Erina, you’re awake. That’s good, come help me make breakfast.” A woman with bright eyes said. Her words felt foreign in my mind, but I understood them anyway. She had the same straight dark brown hair as me. 

I stepped out of bed and went to her. 

“You have to get dressed, Erina.” She said. 

“But aren’t I already dressed?” My voice was also childlike and felt foreign to my ears. And the woman towered over me. This better be a damn dream. 

She looked taken aback “No, silly girl.” 

“But this is fine, isn’t it?” The dress I was wearing was light and long-sleeved. It was comfortable. The woman seemed irritated now.

“Fine, but you have to dress after breakfast.” She pushed my hair behind my ear “let’s go.” 

The technology was not the twenty-first century I was used to. I didn’t really help make the breakfast either as much as I just watched and handed her an ingredient. There was a man with long hair sitting at a dining table drinking tea. He wasn’t really paying us much attention. I tugged on the woman’s sleeve and pointed at him. 

“You want your father? Well then, go to him.” She said.

Father? So she must be my mother. Well, that would explain the hair. I went over to the table and sat next to him. He patted my head affectionately and said, “Good morning, sleep well?”

I hesitated a bit before answering. “No, actually. I don’t feel like myself.” 

“You don’t feel like yourself?” He questioned. “What could you possibly mean by that?” He had a twinkle in his eyes. He thought I was playing a child’s game. Fine, then. 

I gave him a goofy smile, “What if I told you I was from the future, and that I am not your daughter but actually someone else entirely. With different memories?!” I put my arms over my head for dramatic effect.

He looked a little shaken “Well then I’d have to check your head.” He chuckled. 

The woman set two plates down in front of us “Quite the imagination she has.” The woman laughed. 

“Hey, how about you come with me to visit a patient, Erina?” My father asked. 

“A patient? Why?” I asked. 

“Well, they have a daughter about your age and I just thought that you would want to make a new friend. So, do you want to come?” 

“Sure.” I said, taking a bite of the egg on my plate.

“Go get dressed then,” the woman, who I suppose is my mother, said. 

I went back to the room I was in before. There was a red smock, and I pulled it over the light gown I was already wearing. I wasn’t sure how these people dressed yet, but it seemed simple enough that this would do. I found a pair of white stockings and slid them up my legs. Running back out of the room, I searched for shoes. I found them by the door and put the small leather boots on.

“She seems excited,” I heard my mother say “She needs this, it’ll be good for her to play with a girl her age.” 

My father hummed. 

“I’m ready.” I said. 

My mother took one look at me and frowned. “You still need to brush your hair. Did you think you could go out without a coat? Or a scarf? What if it were to rain?” She coddled. 

“Fine,” I said and ran back to my room. It had been a long time since someone had said things like that to me. Can’t believe I went from being a grown woman to a child. ‘I really hope this is a dream’, I said to myself. I looked around for a brush and when I found one, I approached a small mirror. Large reflective blue-hazel eyes stared back at me when I looked upon the mirror. They shifted in color when I moved depending on the light. So pretty. Being Erina couldn’t be all that bad, I bet I could get tons of boyfriends when I’m older, I thought, smiling to myself. I parted my hair down the middle and brushed it till it shined. When I finished, I went to meet my father at the door. 

“Bye, come back safe,” mom said. 

“Bye mom.” I waved and turned away without another word.

“Mom was right, it’s raining pretty heavily now.” I said as we were approaching the cabin. We had gone up a small mountain. It surprised me how my little legs could carry me so far. I wasn’t a very athletic person, but then again, I wasn’t quite myself right now. 

“You should listen to your mother more often, Erina,” he said teasingly. I guess Erina was a bit rebellious. “Oh, by the way, the girl’s name is Mikasa.” 

“Mikasa?”

“Yeah, try to get along. Alright?” 

“Of course, daddy.” He gave me a strange look and then knocked on the door.

Mikasa? It sounded so familiar. I’m sure it’s an oriental name. Probably Japanese. Man, I wish I could watch some anime right now. Maybe I could conjure it with my mind.

“Mr. Ackermann? It’s Dr. Jaeger.” He knocked again. 

Ackermann? Jaeger? My father opened the door and gasped. I gasped too. Shit. I’m Erina Jaeger? Then what happened to Eren Jaeger? 

“Erina, have you seen the girl? Mikasa?” He asked from inside the cabin. 

“No.” I said, still trying to process the fact that I somehow ended up in a rule 63 Eren Jaeger. 

“I’m going to get the military police to conduct a search. Erina, you need to stay at the foot of the mountain and wait for me. Is that clear, Erina?” He said urgently. 

Shit, shit, shit! 

“Erina?!” He asked. 

“Yes. I’ll go. I’ll wait for you.” I said, turning around. I couldn’t go through with that, though. Mikasa is in danger and today I’m going to kill a man. I took a deep breath. Maybe I can come up with a better plan since I know what’s going to happen. Three men, two little girls. What could go wrong? 

After walking for a bit, I found the cabin where Mikasa should be held at. What did Eren do again? He just walked in there and stabbed them? What the hell? He put on an act too. These guys are human traffickers, and I’m a little girl. Maybe I should go to the foot of the mountain. I shook my head. No, I had to do this. I took off my coat and let the rain soak into my clothes. I had to look convincing. The door to the cabin was unlocked. Damn, it really was that easy? 

“Shouldn’t have killed the mother…” I heard a male voice say. I slowly approached the door. The lightest touch opened the door, and I jumped slightly.

“Hello?” I said shakily. 

“Hey, who’s there?!” The door slammed open. 

“I’m sorry! I got lost in the woods and I didn’t know where to go. I thought this place was abandoned. Can you please help me find my father?” I said with tears streaming down my face. I didn’t have to fake the tears. Those were very real, and I was terrified. I gripped the knife behind my back nervously. The man turned to another man in the room. He then bent down to my eye level and wiped a tear from my cheek. 

“It’s alright. Little girls shouldn’t be wandering around the forest by themselves, you know. There’re dangerous animals like wolves out there.” He put one hand on his knee and then used his other to caress my cheek. That’s when I stabbed him. I didn’t think I would have the nerve, but I did it. The man went limp and fell to the floor. 

“Hey, what the hell!” The other man rose, and I prepped for another attack. He didn’t have a weapon on him, so I charged at him and began slashing. He held his arms up defensively, and I managed to cut him up pretty good. I kicked him in the crotch, causing him to collapse. Bringing the knife up, I began slashing him wildly. This man was bigger than the other one, and could easily overpower me. I had to keep him incapacitated. He tried to roll himself over on me as I was stabbing him, but I stuck him in the neck. He got up from me and tried to put pressure on his neck, but collapsed on the floor. So much blood. The fight had exhausted me. There’s no way I could take the third guy down like this. I quickly went over to Mikasa and cut her bindings. 

“Come on, we gotta go.” I said between breaths. “I’m Erina Jaeger. Dr. Jaegers daughter.” 

“There’s three of them.” She said. 

“I know, that’s why we have to go, c’mon.” I lent her my hand and smiled to reassure her and myself. I turned my head to the sound of footsteps. 

“Hurry!” I said. 

“There’s just the window,” she said. 

“Shit.” I picked up the knife and took a defensive stance. Trying to look as menacing as any ten-year-old could. The man that walked into the room was tall. I lunged at him, but he grabbed my arm and swatted the knife away. He pinned me to the ground. 

“It was you, wasn’t it? You killed them. How dare you!” He punched me in the back of the head. “I’m going to kill you. But first, I’m going to have some fun.” He said. 

No, I thought. This is all wrong. 

“Mikasa! Help me! Kill him! Kill him or he’ll kill me! Kill you!” I pleaded. 

“Shut the hell up!” He punched me again. Eren had said something inspiring to her, but I couldn’t remember. 

“It’s kill or be killed in this world, Mikasa.” I began, “we have to protect those who can’t protect themselves. Please, fight!” I said through sobs. The man pulled up my dress and undid his pants. I closed my eyes and screamed as he readied himself. I heard wood breaking and then felt the man’s heavy body on top of me, heavy and unmoving. I opened my eyes, and the man was dead. 

“Mikasa.” I said, crawling out from under the man. I reached out towards her and she took my hand. “Thank you!” I wrapped myself around her and hugged her tight. Tears wouldn’t stop falling from my eyes. 

“Let’s get out of here.” Our hands wound together as we walked out the door, but we were halted in our tracks by MP’s and my father. I groaned. 

“Erina!” He ran towards me. “What were you thinking! I told you to stay at the foot of the mountain. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” His grip on my shoulders was tight, and his face was deadly serious. 

“Yes, I’m sorry, daddy.” Tears filled my eyes again, but they weren’t the waterfalls they were an hour ago. I looked upon his face with new found conviction. “But I had to.” 

“Erina…” his face darkened and his hands went from my shoulders to my cup my cheeks. “Do you know what they could’ve done to you? Do you know why I’m angry with you?” 

I looked down at my feet, yes I knew. What woman didn’t know?. “I just wanted to save Mikasa.” I said, the tears finally slipping. 

My father rose to his feet and addressed Mikasa. 

“Mikasa, do you remember me? We met several times when you were younger.” 

“Dr. Jaeger... where do I go home to from here?” She asked, “It’s cold… I don’t have anywhere to go home to.” 

I gasped. The scarf. I unwrapped it from myself and approached Mikasa. I gently wrapped it around her and then adjusted it like a mother would. 

“This will keep you warm. I have a jacket so I don’t need it as much as you.” I said. “Are you warm?” 

“Yes. I’m warm” 

“That’s good.” I said smiling. 

“Mikasa, come live with us. You’ve been through a lot and you need lots of rest.” Father said. 

I took Mikasa’s hand in mine “C’mon let’s go home, we’re family now.” 

It was only then did she begin to cry, “home… family.” 

“Yeah, let’s go.” 

Home life with Mikasa was natural. It’s nice having a sibling. Braiding each other’s hair was fun, we’d even get Armin to braid our hair and we would braid his hair too. We’d put flowers in our braids when we saw some pretty ones too. 

“Armin, I think you would look cute with short hair.” I said. 

He blushed. “Erina, you can’t just say stuff like that!” 

“Well, I just did. Also, call me Erin.” 

We would beat up anyone who picked on Armin. 

“Mikasa, you are a natural at fighting. Therefore, you must teach us too!” I said one night before bed. 

“But I protect you, Erin. There’s no need for you to learn how to fight.” She said. 

“You will not be there for me all the time, Mikasa. Plus, I want you to be able to depend on me too. Teach me. I know I can be just as strong as you. Then we will be unstoppable! Nothing can bring us down.” I said excitedly. 

“Girls! Go to bed.” Mother called from outside our room. 

“Ok!” I said. I wrapped my arms around Mikasa. “Please?” She buried her head in my neck. 

“Maybe.” 

“You’re the best Mikasa. I love you! Goodnight!” 

“G’night.” 

“Like this?” I asked. 

“Yeah, do you feel it?” 

She was asking about if I could feel what she felt. I knew I couldn’t, but I could feel the naturalness of the position. 

“Yes. This feels right.” 

“Hey, whatcha reading Armin?” I asked. 

“A book about lands of Ice and fire, about a place called the ocean. A lake full of so much salt no merchant could ever take it all.” He looked dreamy. 

“Do you want to hear some of my stories?” I asked. 

“Yes.” 

“One day, Armin, we’ll be able to fly. You will see the world from thousands of feet in the air. And reach far destinations in mere minutes.” 

“Really?!” He said, astonished. 

“Yeah, I promise we’ll see it all together.” I smiled. “You too, Mikasa!” 

“Hey, have you started bleeding yet?” I asked Mikasa one day.

“What?” She asked. “Erin, if you’re bleeding you should tell your father. Also, why would you be bleeding? You haven’t gotten into any fights.” 

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’” I didn’t want to cause trouble and be an annoying brat like Eren was, so I only fought with Mikasa and for Armin. 

“Daddy, I need to talk to you!” I called out. I walked into the kitchen. Mom was also there. 

“What’s wrong, Erin.” Mom asked. 

I took a deep breath. “Mom, I’m a woman now.” I said, dramatically putting my hands on my barely developing hips. 

“Erin, you’re twelve.” She laughed. 

“It’s true, I’m bleeding!” I said. This made mom stop what she was doing and take me into the washroom. 

“You’re too young.” She said. Father came into the room. 

“She’s not too young, but it is pretty early.” 

“Erin, you can’t go running around all the time anymore now.” Mom said. 

I rolled my eyes. 

“Erin! I’m serious. Just promise me you’ll be careful around strangers. Also, you must be home by curfew, no buts!” 

“Yes, mom.” I sighed. 

I dreaded the day Reiner and Bertholdt would break the walls. I always had a crush on Reiner, which was exciting. But it’s not exciting when you’re counting down the days until your loved one’s die. Every time she’d send me and Mikasa and I to collect firewood, I dreaded it. I thought little about it now though. I should have. 

“Mikasa! Erin! please go get some more firewood.” Mom called out. 

“Ok!” 

We set out to retrieve wood soon after breakfast. 

“Wow, this place is always so stunning.” I said as we made it to our usual spot. I yawned and sat against the tree. Sometime between finding Mikasa and now I had convinced my mom to make Laura Ashley style dresses for me and Mikasa. Mom called me expensive and then gave us more chores. But now we had cute dresses. 

“Mikasa come take a nap with me.” I said, patting the smooth green grass.

“Erin, your mom said to get firewood.” Mikasa deadpanned. 

“Fine, at least watch over me while I sleep.” I sat my head down and drifted off. 

The blood. The death. A nightmare. I awoke with a gasp. 

“Erin.” Mikasa leaned over me “Why are you crying?” The skirt of her dress swayed in the breeze.

“We have to go home now!” I said grabbing the firewood Mikasa had collected. 

“Wait, Erin, slow down!” Mikasa called after. 

She caught up to me and grabbed my shoulder. 

“Something awful is going to happen today.” I said. 

“You just had a bad dream.” Mikasa reassures, rubbing my back. Like Eren, I couldn’t remember. But I knew. 

“Maybe you should tell your dad about the dream,” Mikasa said. We slowed to a walking pace, passing people going in the opposite direction. 

“I don’t think I can tell him.” Not yet. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been crying, Erin.”

“Oh! Mr. Hannes.” I said surprised. He reeked of alcohol, but the smell wasn’t unpleasant. 

“Did you and Mikasa finally get beat up by someone?” He teased. 

“What?! No way, me and Mikasa are unstoppable!” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. 

“Erin, don’t do that, we’ll drop the wood.” She said. 

“So y’all have been drinking on the job again?” I asked. 

“Yeah, wanna join?” He said. 

“Hmm, maybe next time?” I joked. 

“Erin, don’t joke about that. Your mom would be mad at you.” Mikasa warned. 

“I mean, I guess if something were to happen, like the wall breaking, at least you wouldn’t be sober.” I said, not unwary. 

“Haha, if they did bust through the walls, we’d still be able to handle them!” Another drunk soldier said. “It hasn’t happened yet, and it ain’t gonna happen.” He slurred. 

“Maybe,” I looked down at my feet. 

“Still, these walls are thick, and fifty meters tall. I can’t see ’em all getting through.” Hannes said. 

“Right. Of course.” 

“It’s a good thing when soldiers don’t have to do their jobs, Erin.” He patted mine and Mikasa’s head. 

“You’re right, Mr. Hannes. But I want freedom. I want to see the world again. I’m tired of domestic life. I want adventure!” 

“Domestic life? You’re still a young girl.” The men laughed. 

“C’mon, Mikasa.” We walked past the drunken soldiers. 

“Erin, you don’t want to join the Scout Regiment, do you?” Mikasa asked when we were almost home. 

“What if I do, Mikasa? Would you follow me? I bet we’d make a great team.” I said. The bells signaling that the gates were opening were being wrung. 

“Mikasa, that’s the scouts! C’mon I wanna see a young Erwin Smith!” I said excitedly. 

“Who?” She asked. 

The sight of the scouts was more depressing than I remember. They were barely alive. Some had missing limbs. Then I saw him. Erwin Smith looked defeated as he rode his horse. I beamed. This man would lead the scouts to victory. He looked over at me and I blushed and hid my face. 

“Why are you acting like that? It’s weird.” Mikasa commented. 

“Moses! Moses! Where’s my son Moses?” A woman stepped out from the crowd. 

“Let’s go, Mikasa. I don’t want to see this.” We turned to leave. But Mikasa grabbed my sleeve and forced me to watch. The woman had collapsed on the ground with her son’s appendage wrapped in her arms, like a baby. I wanted to throw up. 

“Mikasa, please let’s just go.” They were talking, but I couldn’t hear them and turned my head away from the scene. 

“We achieved nothing at all! My incompetence has done nothing but send soldiers to their deaths! We haven’t found out anything about them!” The man said. I recognized the man as Commandant Shadis 

“Do you still want to join the scouts?” Mikasa asked again. 

I turned my head to face her dark steely gaze “Yes.” 

“We’re home!” I said opening the door. “Mmm, smells wonderful mom,” I set the firewood in the trunk. 

“Did you gather all the firewood yourself?” Mom came over to look. 

“Of course not. It was all Mikasa. I took a fat nap.” I said honestly. 

“Erin, what would you do without Mikasa?” Mom said. 

“Probably die.” I joked. 

“You need to learn some responsibility, Erin.” My mom said, thinking. “No new dresses.” 

“Hey, I work hard for those dresses!” I said. 

“Clearly, not hard enough.” She scolded. I huffed. 

I looked over at my father, always drinking tea it seemed. Mom sat plates down and me and Mikasa took our seats. 

“Are you leaving dad?” I asked. 

“Yeah, check-ups in the interior. I’ll be gone for a couple of days,” he said. 

“I see,” I said solemnly. 

“Erin wants to join the Scouts Regiment.” Mikasa said. 

“You bitch, why did you tell them?!” I said. 

“Erin! What did you say?” Mom asked, stunned. 

Shit. 

“Do you have any idea how many people have died outside the walls?” My mom asked. 

“Yes, of course I do!” I said. 

“Then you kno-,“ 

“Eren, why do you want to go outside?” My father asked. 

“I want to free the people from these walls and explore the world. And if there aren’t people to do that, it won’t ever happen. Someone has to lie down their life for this cause!” I said. 

“It doesn’t have to be you, Erin.” My mother said. 

“Well, my boat is about to leave. I better get going.” Father said, rising from his chair and adjusting his coat. 

“Wait, talk some sense into your daughter! Maybe one of your patients has a son she could marry?” Mom walked after him. 

I rolled my eyes. 

“Carla, my words won’t hold her back. She is your daughter, after all. Forcing her to marry would make her resentful. We’d never see her again.” He caressed her cheek. “Erin, when I get back I’ll show you the basement that I’ve kept secret all this time.” He took out the key to the hidden cabinet and dangled it in front of me like it was some treat for a dog. 

“Take care!” We said as he left for the boat. 

“You can forget about joining the Scout Regiment, I’ll start arranging a marriage now if that’s what it takes.” Mom said. 

“You can’t do that I’m like twelve!” I protested. 

“A betrothal then.” 

“No, I’ll run away or something.” I yelled while running away. As I ran through the alleys, I heard a group of bullies and Armin. I quickly dashed down the walkway where I heard them. With a running start, I kicked the tallest one in the face. I saw Mikasa in my peripheral vision. 

“Shit, it’s both of them. Run!” One bully yelled. 

“Armin, are you OK?” I asked, holding my hand out. 

“I can get up on my own,” he said, brushing it away. 

“What happened Armin? Why were they beating you up?” I asked. 

“Because I said something they didn’t like. Let’s go somewhere more peaceful.” Armin suggested. 

We sat along the steps of the embankment while the sun started its process of vanishing over the wall. 

“I said humanity needs to venture into the outside world at some point. And then they beat me up and called me a heretic.” 

“Damn, that’s why I hate organized religion.” I said. 

“You’ve never expressed that opinion before.” Armin said. 

“Well I am now, also Mikasa I’m sorry I called you a bitch. I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t expect you to tattle on me like that.” 

“I know you didn’t mean it. I can’t have you risking your life and going outside the walls though. So forget about it.” 

“What did your parents say about joining the scouts?” Armin asked. 

“Mom was furious, she’s threatening to marry me off. My father though, I don’t know how he feels.” I said, twirling my hair with my fingers. 

“Figures. People are crazy if they think we are going to be safe in these walls forever. Just because the walls have not fallen doesn’t mean they won’t fall, eventually.” Armin said. 

A sudden calm enveloped the area, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention. I look over at the wall. A thunderclap louder than anything I’d ever heard before rang in my ears. Just the force of it sent my small body flying. 

“Bertholdt.” I whispered to myself. 

“What was that?” Armin said, picking himself off the ground. 

“A titan.” I said. 

“Couldn’t be.” 

“Let’s go find out then,” I said, running off towards the direction of the sound. I stopped in my tracks once I made it to where a large group of people had stopped. Looking up, I saw it. The hand had reached over the wall, muscles rippling and flexing. 

“It can’t be, that wall is fifty meters high.” Armin said in terror. 

Bertholdt’s head raised over the wall. 

I wonder what he’s seeing right now. Or if he hesitated at all. He kicked a hole in the wall. Chunks of the wall went flying, as did people. The boulders landed on houses and people. Everything was suddenly chaos. And just like that, he vanished. 

“Erin, isn’t our home that way?” Mikasa asked. 

“Mom…” I said. 

“Shouldn’t we go see if she’s alright?” Mikasa asked. 

“No, we need to leave.” I said. 

“Erin, it’s your mom!” Mikasa said. 

“I know!” I said crying, “She would want us to be safe c’mon, to the boats in the inner gate.” I grabbed her hand and started for the boat. Armin followed. 

“My grandpa should already be on the boat then,” Armin said. The crowds were overwhelming and people were clamoring to get onto the boats. We got on with Armin’s grandfather, though. 

“Do you think your mom made it?” Armin asked. 

“No, I don’t.” I said. 

“What about your father?” 

“He is safe in the interior, but I don’t know.” I said, putting my face in my hands. Other people around me were saying prayers and holding their families close. The boat was quickly filling. Then people started shouting. 

“Hey, what are you doing!” People shouted. 

“The boat is at full capacity, it has to leave!” A soldier tried holding people back. 

“No! Please! At least let our children on!” A woman yelled. 

The soldier signaled for the boat to leave when the crowd became almost uncontrollable. People started jumping onto the boat or falling into the river. Then, the second thunderclap of the day was heard. Reiner was about to bust through the inner wall. The earth rumbled as he ran when he broke through the gate the debris obscured his body. More Soldiers and people went flying. The true terror of the Titans was infallible. I collapsed to my knees. 

The boat was slow going, and I did not know where it was taking us. 

“One day we’ll take this land back. One day we’ll go beyond it.” I said. 

My father found me that night and took me into the woods. 

“We’re doing this right now?” I asked. “It can’t wait?” 

“No, I have no time left. Give me your arm, Erina.” He said crying. 

“Wait, tell me the truth. Right now. It’s not like I’ll remember it anyway, right?” I suddenly asked, scared. 

“The truth?” He said. 

“The basement.” I clarified. 

“You will learn in time,” he said, finally injecting me with spinal the fluid. 

“I’m sorry, daddy.” 

I awoke to the sound of more bells. So I’m a titan shifter now. The key felt heavy on my chest. 

“Erin, you’re awake. Let’s go, they’re passing out food. Apparently this was their food storehouse. They’ve gathered all the boat refugees here.” She said. 

“Boat refugees.” I repeated. There were lots of people in line to get food. But I knew more people had died than there were people here. There were already people arguing about line placements and cutting. I felt sick. 

“Looks like we can’t say that we have survived just yet,” Mikasa said. 

“Erin! Mikasa!” Armin approached with small bread loaves in his hand and gave us one each “My grandpa got this by saying it was for children.” 

A soldier behind scoffed and walked away. Shouldn’t he have compassion for us? Shouldn’t they have been better prepared for this? I felt frustrated. 

“This is an entire day’s worth of food. There’s just too many refugees. And we’re not going to be treated well here.” He said. 

“They still should’ve been better prepared for this, this whole situation is a disaster.” I said. 

“Why should we hafta give our food to some lousy outsiders?” The soldier who scoffed said. “If the Titans got through the wall, the least they could’ve done was eat more of these people.” He complained. His lack of compassion enraged me. 

“This is just going to make the food shortage worse!” He said. 

I walked towards him, “Sir, if you could please be a bit more compassionate towards us in public I would greatly appreciate it.” I said. “Your words are hurtful and make tensions worse, you should really watch what you say as a soldier.” I finished. 

“You shitty brat, don’t speak to adults that way.” He smacked me hard across the cheek. Mikasa and Armin apologized for me and took me away. 

“We have to take back Wall Maria. People won’t be able to live like this for much longer.” I said. 

“It’s impossible, Erin.” Armin said. 

“It’s not, not forever. We’ll do it someday.” 

The next couple of days were the same. Wait in breadlines and eat the food sparingly throughout the day. Then we were forced to cultivate the land for food. 

“Tch, this is child labor,” I complained. “And it’s freezing out here.”

“We have to do this so that more food can grow,” Armin said.

“More food? Armin it’s snowing it’ll take many weeks before these crops are even out of the ground. The food shortage is inevitable. They’re going to find a way to get rid of us one way or another.” I said. 

“Get rid of us?” He asked. 

“The weak, the old, and the sick,” I said. 

The crops grew, but there still wasn’t enough food for everyone. It had been a year since when the government sent refugees to reclaim Wall Maria. It was devastatingly unsuccessful. Out of the 250,000 that went, only 200 survived. Not including Armin’s grandfather. However, the food shortage situation improved because of their sacrifice. 

“I’m sorry, Armin.” I said. 

“You were right,” Armin cried. 

“Armin, I’m going to apply to the cadets next year. It is that or the fields, and you know how much I hate fieldwork.” I said.

“Me too!” He said. “I’ll join you!”

“Really?” I said.

“I’ll follow you, Erin.” Mikasa said. 

“Thank you. We should stick together. We’re the only family we got.” I wrapped my arm around Armin. 

“Join us, Mikasa,” I smiled up at her. 

She nuzzled into me and wrapped her arms around my side. I wrapped my other around her and pulled them both close to me. 

“Together then.” 

I stood completely at attention at the entrance ceremony. Shadis had just introduced himself and began trying to break us. It still shocked me how young my peers were. Me, Armin, and Mikasa are fourteen. I’m sure child soldiers serving in the military is a war crime. Though, I guess these circumstances are a bit different. 

“Hey you! What’s your name?” Shadis was currently tormenting Armin. We turned when he told us to and followed his every command. He was walking down my row, stalking the next person he wanted to break. He paused for a bit in front of me and then kept walking. 

“What’s your name?!” He approached a boy. 

“I’m Jean Kirstein from Trost District!” The boy said. 

Jean and Eren had a funny rivalry between them, I however wanted friendship. I hope I will get along with him. 

“I want to join the military police and live in the interior.” Jean said. I didn’t understand Eren’s anger at wanting to live comfortably in ignorance. There is a strange freedom that comes from not knowing genuine horror. I however was a stranger to this freedom, freedom that is so easy to take away. 

“That so? You want to go to the interior?” Shadis asked. 

“Yes, sir!” 

Shadis head-butted him and Jean collapsed to his knees. I continued to block out any further conversation. My mastery skill at blocking things out unfortunately led to me missing Shadis’s and Sasha’s interaction. 

“Amazing. She’s been at it for five hours now,” Connie said as we stared at Sasha while she ran. She was more shocked when he said no meals than when he told her to run till she dropped.”

“No meal after running that long is cruel and unusual,” I said. “We should sneak her something when she’s done.” I suggested. “Where are they going?” I pointed towards a wagon. 

“Dropouts. They’re going to work in the fields.” Mina said. 

“But it’s only the first day,” Armin said. 

“Maybe they lost their nerve? Not everyone is cut out for service. This place can break you like nobody’s business. But field work? Geez, I would take service over fieldwork any day.” I said. 

“Hey, Shadis looked at you but didn’t ask you where you are from?” Marco said. 

“That’s right, me and Armin here are both from Shinganshina District.” I said wrapping an arm around him. 

“Really, so then you saw what happened?” Connie asked me. “You saw the Colossus Titan?!” 

“Hey-,” Marco tried to stop Connie. 

“Yeah, we did.” I said. 

“You have got to tell us everything, let’s go eat in the mess hall.” Connie said excitedly. 

“Yeah, I saw it, it’s hard to put into words,” I said thoughtfully. 

“How big are they?” Someone asked. 

“The colossus titan. He was big enough to look over the wall. He was terrifying.” I said. 

“What?! I heard they climbed over the wall,” 

“I heard that too!” 

“Same here,” 

“No, not all of them were big enough to do that. There was something different about the colossus titan. Why now? And if the Titans could climb, why hadn’t they tried before?” I took a sip of my soup. 

“What did it look like?” A girl asked. 

“He didn’t have much skin, and his mouth was huge. I’m sure if he had climbed over the wall, he could’ve devoured everyone.” I took another sip. 

“What about the ‘armored titan’ who destroyed wall Maria?” Someone else asked. 

“Ah, that one. He’s interesting. I didn’t see him up close, but I heard him. And I saw him break through the wall from the boat I was on. The colossus and armored titan are by no means ordinary.” I said, taking a sip of water. 

The crowd was buzzing. “What are ordinary Titans like?” Another person asked. 

“Unlike the Colossus and Armored, they’re mindless and only have one goal.” I paused for dramatic effect. “To eat. The ordinary ones scare me more, if I’m being honest. Though, I suspect they’re easier to kill than the Armored or Colossus.” I put the bread loaf in my pocket for Sasha. 

“You have other theories on the colossus and armored?” Someone asked. 

“Lots. But I’m tired.” I said yawning. 

“I’m joining the Scouts Regiment, maybe one day I’ll see the armored and colossal again, I’ll be sure to pay them back in kind for what they did to my hometown.” I said.

“Are you crazy?” It was Jean’s voice. “Did you say the Scouts Regiment?” 

“Yeah, how else am I supposed to see Titans? Do you see any around here?” I looked around the room and even under the table for dramatic effect. I pointed at Bertholdt, “Hey, I think there’s one right there! Huh, oh never mind, he’s just tall,” people around the room laughed. Bertholdt chuckled nervously. Jean wasn’t as amused. Perhaps I had made some sort of mistake? 

“You’re going to join the military police and take it easy, right? I salute you. It is honorable to hold one’s own life so dear. May you never run into a titan, Jean.”

“You making fun of me or something?” Jean said. 

“Of course not.” I said, rising from my bench. Jean stood as well. “I’m sorry if I came off that way.” 

“Sorry for calling you crazy,” 

“Don’t be,” I said. I patted his shoulder and walked out of the mess hall. 

Mikasa caught up to me and I slipped my hand in hers. “Should we cut our hair? Or should we just put it up in ponytails?” I asked. 

“I just got complimented on my hair.” Mikasa said. 

“By Jean?” 

“Yeah, anyway I like your long hair Erin.” Mikasa had a glow to her skin. 

“I think you would look badass with short hair, Mikasa. But don’t cut it if you don’t want to.” I said. My hair went past my breast since I hadn’t cut it at all in nearly four years. There were other cadets with long hair who just simply put it up out of their face. I would do the same. 

I saw Sasha collapse not long after dinner ended, Historia had already beat me to her. 

“Hey, I have another small loaf if you want it, Sasha.” I handed her the bread. 

“You’re both gods, it’s unmistakable.” She bowed before us. 

“Hey, what are you two doing?” It was Ymir. 

“This girl must be exhausted, and she missed dinner, so I brought her some food.” Historia said. 

“So you’re trying to be nice?” Ymir said. 

I started heading to the barracks. The bunks were close together and me and Mikasa were side by side. “Hey,” I crawled into the bed “Almost just like old times, huh? I guess we’re too old to sleep in the same bed though.” 

“No.” She said. “Not too old.” 

“Come here, then.” I smiled, opening my arms wide. Mikasa embraced me eagerly. 

“Hey wake up, Erin,” Mikasa was shaking me. “We have to do your hair.”

I gently swatted her hand away. “I’ll just put in a ponytail.” 

“A pretty ponytail.” Mikasa said bluntly. 

“Mikasa, it doesn’t have to be pretty if It’s gonna get messed up, anyway.” 

Trying out the 3D maneuver would be fun, but I knew I would not have an easy time. Not until my gear was checked by probably Shadis himself. And he’s the one who sabotaged it. The wires were attached, and I was prepared to fail. But not before I held myself in place for a solid 2 seconds. I ended up upside down, as expected. 

“What the hell are you doing, Erina Jaeger!? Pull yourself up!” Shadis said. 

“I’m trying, sir!” I said. Still swinging upside down. The other cadets were laughing at me. I tried to ignore them. This wasn’t my fault. I instead glared at Shadis.

Mikasa and Armin tried helping me later on once we had some free time. “Just stick to the basics and you can do it. Don’t think about doing it well. Just focus on your balance. Shift your weight slowly to your hip belt and ankle strap.” She instructed. 

“Just stay calm. Even I could do it. And I know you’re stronger than me, Erin.” Armin said. 

“Alright, I’ll do my best. Raise me up, boy.” I could feel myself falling upside down before the tips of my toes came off the ground. I put my hands over my head and whacked the ground with a large thunk. 

At dinner I was dazed and confused. People were looking over at me in pity. 

“Hey, don’t stress about it.” Armin said, “You just have to get it right tomorrow.” 

“I know, and if I don’t, I will cause a scene.” I took a bite of some stew. 

“A scene? Why? Wouldn’t that make it worse?” Armin asked. 

“You will find out tomorrow, if I have to Armin.” 

“We can be farmers.” Mikasa said. “You won’t be throwing your life away, and I’ll be able to protect you.” 

“No, Mikasa, I cannot be a farmer.” I drank some water from the tankard. 

“I know you’re hopeless at growing crops, I’ll do everything for you. You won’t have to worry.” Mikasa said, looking at me. 

“That’s unfair to you Mika,” she blushed at the nickname. 

“No, it’s not. I just want to be by your side,” 

“I know, thank you.” I leaned into her, putting my head on her shoulder. The bell started ringing. 

“Armin, sneak me into the boys’ barracks so I can talk to Reiner and Bertholdt about it,” I said whispered while Mikasa wasn’t looking.

“Sneak you?!” Armin said. 

“Yes,”

We went behind the barracks and I changed into a pair of pants that were a little too big for Armin. I tied my hair into a ponytail and plopped it over the front of my forehead, creating the illusion of bangs. I then put on a hat to cover the ponytail and keep the bangs in place. I put on a cloak to obscure my breast and I walked right in behind Armin and into the barracks. Barely anyone batted an eye. 

“Hey my friend wants to know how you guys are so good at the 3D maneuver training,” Armin said. “Can you help him out? Please?” 

Reiner gestured for me and Armin to climb the bunk.

“Hey, what’s with the jacket, aren’t you warm?” Reiner asked. 

“Yeah, I am, actually.” I unbuttoned the jacket and took it off my shoulders. 

“W-wait you’re a-“ 

“Shh, I’m just here for some help, don’t get me in trouble!” I put a finger up to Bertholdt’s lips. 

“Sorry, there’s really no trick to it,” Reiner started. “I can’t really give you any advice.” 

“I see…”

“Just give it your all tomorrow,” Armin said. I smiled at him. 

“Um, you’re both from Shinganshina, right?” Bertholdt asked. Me and Armin nodded. “So you know how terrible the Titans are? Then why would you want to become soldiers?” 

“We both didn’t see the Titans up close, but Erin lost her family besides Mikasa to them. I just can’t stand the thought that we have a monarchy that forced its people to go on that terrible reclamation mission. I couldn’t just stand by. Where are you two from?” 

“Reiner and me, we’re from a village deep in the mountains. On the southwest side of wall Maria.” Bertholdt began. 

“Wow, that’s…” Armin put his head down. 

“Yeah, unlike the towns by the waterways, we didn’t get word right away. More like, the Titans came before the news. It was just around dawn. The livestock were restless, and I felt the earth tremor and shake.” He hugged his knees tighter to his chest. “I realized they were footsteps not long after, and I rushed to the window, and that’s when I saw them.” He relaxed a bit. “I don’t remember much after that. There was chaos everywhere.” 

“Hey why’re you bringing this up all of a sudden?” Reiner asked. 

Probably to sound more relatable, I thought to myself. 

“Sorry, what I want to say is, you’re both different from the others.” 

“The others?” Armin questioned. 

“The ones who don’t know the terror of the Titans. And you Erin, you may be onto something about those two abnormal Titans.” Bertholdt said. The look in his eyes said he was trying to confirm something. I had to tread lightly. 

“Oh, I don’t know about all that. It’s just some thoughts that haunt me at night.” 

“Hey, let’s show them something,” Reiner said. “Erin put the cloak back on.” 

“Roger that, chief,” I said, slipping the cloak on. He gazed at me, transfixed. 

We were walking through the dark forest. “Many of the other cadets are here because it’s the politically correct thing to do. If you choose fieldwork or manufacturing when you come of age, you’re labeled as a coward. So I went ahead and joined the Cadet Corps.” He sighed. “Still, I’m really no different from them. I’m choosing to apply for the military police, so I can work in the safety of the interior. If that doesn’t work out, I might just quit. I have no purpose in life.” 

“Quitting isn’t always a bad thing.” I said. 

“Yeah, I think valuing your life is pretty awesome.” Armin said. Bertholdt stepped over a barbed wire fence. 

“I want to go back to my hometown, which is in ruins. That’s the only thing I desire. I’ll go back, no matter what it takes.” Reiner had a serious look on his face. 

“Why do you want to be a soldier?” Bertholdt asked me. 

“I... I want to free my people from the oppression of Titans. I want to be able to go home and be free again, and I want to see the world, better than it is now. Even if it means killing all the Titans, even if it means dying before I can see them all dead.” I said. 

“Seeing the Titans’ destruction didn’t scare you?” Reiner asked. 

“Of course it did. I was terrified, but I had to keep moving forward and protect what was around me. Well, who knows if I’ll even be a soldier now.” I replied. We climbed up a steep hill and stopped on a ledge. The clouds parted, and the moon showed itself. Its rays dazzled over a cerulean lake. 

“Check and adjust your belt. You’ll make it tomorrow. You can do it. Erin Jaeger, Right?” Reiner asked. 

“Yes, t-thank you.” I blushed slightly. “Reiner Braun, right?” 

He smiled. “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” 

“If I died right now, I don’t think I’d mind.” I sighed. “Look at this view, it’s stunning.” 

“Hey Erin, shouldn’t you go back?” Armin asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Mikasa-,” Armin began. 

“Shit! You’re right, she’s probably out looking for me right now! Bye, Bertholdt! Reiner! Thank you for showing me this.” I slid down the hill and started making my way back to the barracks. 

When I stepped inside, all eyes were on me. “Where were you?” Someone asked. “I bet she was out with a boy, I mean, who could blame her? She is about to be kicked out, anyway.” A girl laughed. It was Ymir. I quickly undressed and put on a nightgown. Mikasa was waiting for me. 

“Where were you?” She asked. 

“I was with Armin,” I said slipping under my covers “and Bertholdt, and Reiner,” 

“See! I told you so. She was with a boy!” someone whispered. 

“Stop talking! Go to bed!” I yelled at them. 

“What were you doing?” Mikasa asked. 

“Relax, Mika. They just gave me some advice. That’s all.” I wrapped my arms around her neck. “Let’s go to bed, I have a big day tomorrow.” 

“Erina Jaeger, are you ready?” I looked Shadis in the eye with all the determination I could muster. 

“Yes, Sir!” I said. 

“Then begin!” He commanded. 

Thomas started turning the crank, and I managed to balance. I held it. “Yes!” I cried. People were cheering around me. I had held it all for about fifteen seconds before I found myself leaning backwards and falling upside down. 

“This is a mistake, Commandant Shadis. I can do this. There must be something wrong with my gear, Sir!” I said. 

“Lower her.” Shadis said. “Wagner, switch belts with Jaeger.” 

“Yes, Sir!” Thomas complied. 

We deftly switched belts, and I was hooked back into the gear. Thomas started the crank again. As I felt myself rise off the ground, I felt completely balanced, with little wobbles here and there. People were staring in shock. 

“It seems it was equipment failure. The metal here on your belt is damaged. I’ve never heard of it happening before. Better make note of it in equipment maintenance.” He said. 

“So her equipment was broken all this time?” Someone from the crowd asked. 

“I passed, right?” I asked, simply swinging now. 

“With flying colors, now keep training.” Shadis said 

I smiled over at Mikasa and Armin and winked. 

I was let down, and we all got real omnidirectional gear. We were all taken to a forest to practice using it. I aimed my grappling hooks at a tree and then activated the gas mechanism. 

“Wow!” I went flying towards the tree and landed on a branch, wobbling a bit. Other people soon joined me. I released the hooks and aimed for another tree and then released again before flying into it. So this was the process. It required all attention. Soon, we all found ourselves flying and swinging from tree to tree like monkeys. I was looking forward to further training. After getting back to the barracks, I headed towards the showers. The water was cool and felt good on my skin. My body was sore. The real training would start tomorrow. I turned off the water and wrung the water out of my hair before getting dressed. When I walked into the barracks, everyone started congratulating me. 

“Thank you! Krista, Sasha” I thanked them all before heading to my bed. Mikasa had her back turned to me. 

“Hey, we’re going to be soldiers now,” I said. 

“Yeah,” she got up and left the barracks with clothes in her hands, probably to take a shower. I put my towel on my pillow and laid my head down there. The events that are to be have already been set in motion. How could I change some outcomes? The thought troubled me for hours before I could fall asleep. 


	2. She Looks Like The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin and Reiner fuck

My hair covered the bathroom floor. I didn’t realize I had so much. It had only been a trim, but I was now encircled in a ring of my hair. 

“Hello? Anybody in here?” A voice called.

“Over here!” I said. Historia came into view. “Hey Krista.” The name even tasted false.

“Oh, you’re cutting your hair? Do you need some help?” She asked.

“Yes, actually. Do you think you could even out the back for me?” I handed her the scissors.

“How short? An inch?” 

“Yea, thank you.” I confirmed.

“I thought maybe you would ask Mikasa for help, you’re so close.” Krista said. 

“Well, she is my sister. But she seemed upset at me the other night, so I didn’t really want to bother her. Plus, she said she liked my hair long, so I thought maybe she wouldn’t want to do it. Do you have any siblings?” I asked. 

“No, it seems nice to have a sibling relationship like that though.” Her mask slipped a bit, but she seemed confused as to why. 

“I’ll be your sister if you want, Krista. There’s plenty of room in this heart.” I smiled and put my hand over my heart.

“And what would we do as sisters?’’ She asked.

“Keep secrets, talk about people we like, protect each other.” I closed my eyes thoughtfully “Argue and then forget that ever happened the next day.” I laughed. “It’s like a forever support system.” 

Krista finished snipping. “Sounds nice, I’ll help you clean this up.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Did you cut your hair?” Mikasa asked while we sparred. 

“Only a little,” I said as I dodged a punch. 

“Then I’ll cut my hair too,” she blocked my kick, catching my leg. We tumbled to the ground. 

“You don’t have to do that-,” 

“No, I want to.” She said brushing dust off herself and offering her hand. I took it and pulled myself up. 

“Switch!” Shadis commanded. 

“Reiner, hello,” I said. “Shall we begin?” I took a defensive position. He stepped forward and lunged. I sidestepped him and swept him out from under his feet. Then I used a move I learned in a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. I pinned his right arm with one hand, blocking any head movement with my elbow. I put one leg around him and then brought my other hand under his armpit and turned him slightly over to his side. I leaned back and wrapped my other leg around him, completely blocking movement and bringing him into submission. He tapped my arm, gasping. I let him go. 

“What was that?” He said between gasps for air. We had garnered an audience and even Shadis stood high above us, watching intently. 

“A little move I learned a long time ago,” I said, a little out of breath. I had used a lot of my strength on Reiner. He was bigger, stronger, and two years older than me. It’s common sense that I can’t take him down with the sparring methods being taught here. Not only that, but his previous military training gives him an advantage. 

“I had to use it on you, I mean, you’re so strong I didn’t stand a chance.” I laughed.

“Do you think you could teach me?” He asked.

“Yeah, stand up.” I said. 

“You’re still sitting down,” he said. 

“Your opponent must already be down in order to do this.” He looked confused. 

I got up, “Fine, I’ll show it on you once more. Sit cross-legged for me.” 

“Alright, what next?” 

“Your opponent will either straddle you or be on top of you in some way,” I said, getting on top of him. “He will then pin your arm like this.” I pinned his arm to the ground again. “And he will bring his other arm under and drop his chest into you. He will then move his hand that was pinning you over and around your neck to the hand under you, and roll you over to the side.” We rolled. “And then he will lock both his legs around you.” I let Reiner go. 

“So it’s really that easy?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” the surrounding people walked away and started trying to practice it on their own sparring partners. 

“That move is kind of… intimate.” Reiner said, rubbing his chin. 

“Intimate? I guess a lot of close combat is intimate. Wait, you didn’t use me, did you? Did you like being wrestled like that?” I asked, amused. 

“W-What?! No way!” He looked away slightly abashed. 

I got up and lent my hand to him; he grabbed it, still looking anywhere but my eyes. 

“It’s OK, Reiner. I’ll wrestle you anytime, if you like.” I whispered in his ear. 

“Stop teasing me,” he was wearing a pout on his thick lips, still looking at the ground. “Your hair looks different today,” he changed the subject. “It looks a little wavy at the ends.” 

“Oh?” I picked up a strand that had fallen out of the ponytail. It had a very loose curl pattern to it. “I never noticed that before.” A bell was ringing and suddenly it was just me and Reiner alone in the practice field.

“Wait,” I said, gasping. The supply closet was small and cramped as always, but the shelves had been more uncomfortable than usual today.

“What’s wrong?” Reiner said, rubbing my cheek. 

“Something’s poking me in the back.” I said, adjusting against him. 

“Wish there was a more comfortable place to go,” Reiner kissed my neck.

“We could go out, after curfew to the cliff.” I said, rubbing his back and kissing his temple.

“It’s risky.” 

“This is risky.” I pulled my hands from his back and rested them on his chest. We had been sneaking off to supply closets for two years now, touching and kissing each other. Nothing more, though it was extremely tempting, and at times we had to stop ourselves. We were not as obvious as Franz and Hannah, but Ymir was good at reading people and situations. So she teased us incessantly. 

“Are you going to make out with Reiner again?” she said one day out of the blue. I was heading exactly where she said, so I saw no point in being dishonest. 

“Yeah, you’re really good at that. Guessing people’s intentions.” I said, slightly embarrassed. 

“You should be more careful about sneaking off, I know Mikasa would never go behind your back. However, not everyone here is your sister and is going to keep your secrets.” She said. 

“Ah, so Krista told you.”

“Yeah, she cares about you. So switch up your routine and locations, and don’t get caught.” She turned around and left. I was grateful for that because soon after people were sent to just check on cadets doing their duties. Me and Reiner had avoided any awkward situation thus far, and I wanted to keep it that way. 

“What are you thinking about?” Reiner pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. 

“Just thinking about the things we could do on the cliff,” I leaned into his touch. I didn’t know whether to feel wrong about what I was doing to Reiner, about what he would do to me. 

“Fine, we’ll go to the cliff.” He kissed me softly on the mouth. Our lips parted, and he rested his forehead on mine before breaking our tangled embrace. “I love you.” He said. 

“I know.” 

“Are you wearing a skirt? You never wear skirts.” Mikasa commented. 

“I haven’t gotten to do my laundry recently, this is what I had that was clean.” I said. 

Her gaze never left mine, not until Armin sat down. 

“How do you think you did on the exam?” Armin asked us. 

“I think I did pretty great.” I said, taking a bite of a potato. 

“Same here,” Mikasa said. 

“Good, that exam was important. To be honest Erin, it seems like you have been focusing on other things as of late.” Armin said. 

“Other things?” I asked. 

Armin lowered his voice. “Are you and Reiner…,” he was whispering now “Dating?” 

“Why would Erin be dating anyone?” Mikasa asked. “She has me, she doesn’t need anyone else.” Mikasa said bluntly. 

“Mikasa, there are needs you can’t fulfil,” I said embarrassed, covering my face with my hands. 

“Is that why you’re wearing a skirt? To attract attention?” She asked. 

“Well, I wasn’t lying about the laundry. I really haven’t done any in a while, but yeah. I wanted to look pretty.” I said. 

“You’re always pretty,” Mikasa looked down at her food. “I’m not hungry anymore.” She got up with her dishes and returned them to the kitchen. She glanced back at me before walking out the door. 

“I wish I could return her feelings, Armin, I really do.” I sighed. 

“Feelings get so complex when you’re older.” He said, blushing a bit.

“Yeah.” 

The bell rang shortly after. I went back to the barracks and packed a small bag with a towel and lantern. The path to the cliff was obscured by many trees and bushes. The moon was out again. I took the towel from the bag and laid it out onto the ground, smoothing it out as much as possible. The stars twinkled, and I swore I saw one dash across the sky. I took off my shoes and laid down on the towel, and watched as clouds moved across the sky. The snapping of twigs caused me to turn my head in the noise's direction. It was Reiner. 

“Do you think the moon has always been this pretty?” 

“Yeah.” He said, sitting next me. 

I sat up and leaned against his shoulder. 

“Kiss me.” I whispered into his ear, lips grazing his cheek. I crawled into his lap and he wrapped his arms around my waist. His mouth gently moved over mine. I nipped at his lips, causing him to groan.

“Erin…,” his hand moved up and down my back. He squeezed my ass, and I giggled. With one hand he gently fisted my hair, pulling my head back. He kissed my exposed neck. I whined when he slightly bit down on the flesh between my collarbone. He kissed and licked at the bite, which was already tender and pulsing. I felt boneless in his arms, like I could slip out of his grasp and melt into the earth. 

“Reiner, touch me, please.” I pleaded, grabbing one of his hands and bringing it to my breast. He massaged them through my shirt and kissed down my neck and then back up to my lips. I moaned into his mouth and smiled against his lips. 

“What?” He hummed and returned the smile. His pupils were blown wide, and the sight was all the more intoxicating because of that.

“You’re so warm,” I pressed more of my body into him, shifting my hips. He stifled a moan into my neck and I felt him shiver. I lifted his chin, “I want to hear you, I want to know how I make you feel.” My heart was pounding in my ears as I said that. I grabbed the hand on my breast and moved it to my heart. “Can you feel that? Can you feel my heart, Reiner?” I asked, moaning and grinding more into him. 

“Yes,” he replied shakily. 

He brought my hands up to his lips and kissed them. I let go and wrapped an arm around him, bringing my other hand up and running a hand through his flaxen hair. His hands made their way under my blouse and he massaged my bare breast, teasing my nipples. I pulled my blouse off and threw it to the side of the towel. Reiner lifted my body up more against him and began kissing and sucking my breast. 

“Don’t stop.” I groaned, reaching for his shirt. It was promptly discarded. 

I felt Reiner up through his pants, causing him to moan against my breast. He gently nipped one and massaged and squeezed the other. We were so close to each other I could feel the vibrations from his chest as he moaned and groaned in delight. Reiner’s hands traveled from my breast to my thighs. He squeezed them eagerly. I squeaked in response. 

“You’re so soft, Erin.” He kissed into my skin, laying me down on my back. My skirt had risen to expose my upper thighs and Reiner was relishing in them. He softly kissed my inner thighs, and I moaned in approval. 

“K-Keep going.” I brought my hands to my breast and squeezed them. Reiner’s hand went down to my underwear and he massaged my clit. I guided his hand to just the right spot and moaned his name. 

“Say my name like that again.” He said. 

“Reiner, Reiner, Reiner!” I half sobbed the last one as he put two fingers inside me. His fingers were long and thick and I fucked myself on them. I pulled myself off his fingers before I came and discarded my underwear and skirt. I brought Reiner’s fingers to my mouth and licked them, tongue swirling around his fingertips. 

“F-Fuck,” he said. 

“I want to touch you, Reiner.” I said huskily. I put my hands down his pants and massaged his cock. It was thick and heavy, and I squeezed it lightly. Reiner pulled his pants down and I pulled them off his legs and threw them in the growing pile of clothes. I took his boots off and then returned to his cock. It was veined and beautiful. His tip was such a lovely bright pink, and I couldn’t resist kissing it, his pre-cum already lubricating his cock. I ran my tongue down the length of his pulsing shaft and lightly squeezed his balls. 

“Fuck, how are you so good at this?” He grunted. I began pumping his cock in my hands, licking and sucking at the tip and bobbing up and down his shaft. He fisted his hands through my hair and mewled. 

I pulled myself away from his lovely cock before he could come; he whimpered. 

“Do you want to cum?” I asked him sweetly.

“Yes, please Erin. Please let me cum!” He moaned and whimpered, there was a single teardrop on the right side of his face. 

“Get on your back.” I ordered, placing my hand on his chest. 

He laid on the towel, and I got on top of him; I rubbed myself along his shaft.

“Please!” He begged, gripping my hips.

I giggled and positioned myself on his cock. In the heat of the moment I had forgotten that this body was virgin, I was reminded by the sting I felt as I engulfed Reiner’s enormous cock. 

“Ah.” I hissed as I sat on top of him, unmoving. 

“A-are you alright?” Reiner asked.

“I’m fine, just adjusting.” I said, gasping. I rubbed my clit and slightly moved up and down Reiner length. 

“You’re so tight and hot, Erin.” He moaned and bucked his hips into me. I whimpered and squeezed his cock, earning another moan from Reiner. 

“D-Don’t do that.” He said, face fully flushed. I laughed and leaned over to kiss him. I felt comfortable enough to to move faster, the sting was numbing away, and I was feeling pressure build up in my core. Reiner flipped me over and pumped into me faster, and I squeezed my legs around his hips as I began to quiver. His fingers dug into my hips bruisingly and I ran my hands down his chest and started teasing his nipples. He was whimpering and his pace became brutal. 

“I’m coming, baby.” He said pressing his entire body into me. He took my lips in his and I felt our tears mix, the pain and the pleasure was overwhelming for both of us. Our hands clasped together. My walls tightened around him and I squeezed involuntarily as I came. Reiners cock was pulsing inside me and I could feel his seed seeping out between my thighs as I milked him. He was panting, and he thrusted a little more before finally pulling out. Reiner collapsed on top of me. He pulled me into his arms and rolled over onto his back. 

“I love you, Erin.” he said, playing with my hair. 

“I know.” I kissed him. 

I woke up the next morning and felt sorer than I had ever felt between my legs ever. All I wanted to do was sit in the shower all day. Having sex with Reiner had brought back the memories of the time Mikasa saved me. I didn’t want to think about it; I didn’t even want to associate Reiner with it. But for some reason it was all I could think about, and I didn’t understand why. Reiner was kind with me, gently, maybe only a little bit rough. I smiled as I rubbed the bite on my collarbone and the bruises on my hips. Just grazing the bruise sent shivers down my spine. I had spent too much time in the shower. 

“Hey Erin, you missed breakfast!” Sasha said when she spotted me exiting the barracks. 

“Oh, really? Damn, I’m starving too!” I said rubbing my belly. 

“Well, at least you smell better now.” Sasha said.

“Huh? I smelled bad?” I asked. 

“Yeah, when you came in last night you smelled really funky!” She made a silly face. I had completely forgotten that sex sometimes had a smell. It was another thing I would just have to be careful about. 

“Sorry about that, I had done a late night run and got carried away, I guess.” I said, rubbing the back on my neck nervously. 

“Who do you think you’re going to be sparing with in the training exercise today?” She asked. 

“Oh, probably Reiner.” I felt heat rising to my cheeks. 

“You two are pretty evenly matched, ah- No way! Do you like him?” Sasha asked. 

“Well, yeah.” 

“You should tell him, I think he likes you too! Tell him when you got him on the ground, so he can’t escape!” Sasha laughed. 

“Alright, will do.” 

I gave to wooden blade to Reiner, “You first,”

He lunged at me, and I caught his hand and flipped him over with the other. 

“Ow!” He muttered. 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to throw you down so hard,” I held out my hand. 

He grabbed it and gently squeezed, pulling himself up. “It’s alright, part of the exercise after all. I’m just a little sore.” He looked away from my eyes. 

“Oh? You’re sore? How do you think I feel?” I teased. 

“Here you be the bad guy, don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.” He winked and held out the knife. 

I grabbed it and held it up to inspect it, “You know, Sasha told me to confess my feelings to you today.” I said. 

“You did that last night,” he put a hand on his hips. 

“Keep reminding me I’ll and take you right here.” I took a step closer and flipped my hair to one side, revealing the small marks he had left on my neck. He blushed and tried to focus on something else. 

“Hey, look.” He nodded his head in the direction he was looking in. 

“Oh, Annie. She’s slacking off again? Good for her.” I said. 

“Come on, shouldn’t we teach her a lesson?” He bent down and said into my ear. “Let’s teach her how to be a good soldier.” 

“Why?” I asked. 

“Just follow my lead.” He approached Annie. She didn’t seem to be paying much attention. 

“Do you want a head butt from the instructor? If you don’t want to get any shorter, then remember why you came here and take it seriously.” Reiner said. 

“Hey, that’s no way to talk to her.” Reiner was acting strangely. Annie’s expression had turned dark. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she had a deep frown that almost looked pained. Reiner gripped my shoulders tightly, eliciting a gasp out of me. I turned my head upward to look at him. 

“Come on, let’s begin. Erin!” He said. 

“Huh?! Why me!” I complained as he pushed me towards Annie. Annie readied herself in a defensive position. 

“Hey, Annie, please go easy on me. This wasn’t my idea.” I said nervously. I gripped the knife and lunged at her, as Reiner had previously lunged at me. She kicked me hard in the shin, which caused me to stumble and fall. 

“Can I go now?” Annie asked, bored. 

“Not yet, you still need to disarm her.” Reiner said. Annie huffed. 

“W-Wait, Annie. You already knocked me down, don’t listen to Reiner!” She ignored my pleas and grabbed, pulling me into a submissive position and kicked me out under my legs, causing me to fall, again. The knife had fallen out of my hands and she had caught it. 

“Here. It’s your turn to attack me.” Annie said, tossing Reiner the knife. 

“N-No, I-,” Reiner started. 

“What’s the problem, Reiner?” I said laying on my back. “Do it. You’re gonna teach her how to be a real soldier, right?” 

“Yeah, there's times when a soldier can’t back down. Now is that time!” In the end, Reiner also ended up on the ground. Right next to me. I got off the ground and caught up to Annie.

“That was a cool move, who taught you that?” I asked. 

“My dad.” She said. 

“Really? That’s cool, I guess.” 

“It doesn’t really matter. There’s no point in doing this.” She said. 

“What do you mean? This training?” I asked. 

“Martial arts against people doesn’t earn you points. The only people who earn the right to join the Military Police and go to the interior are those with the top scores. The only ones taking it seriously are honest people like you, or idiots.” She gestured to Sasha and Connie. Then she suddenly lunged at me with the knife. “For some reason, in this world, the stronger you are to fight the titans, the further you’re placed from them.” I was struggling to hold her back. “Why do you think that is?” She asked. 

I pushed against her, “Who knows? Maybe there’s some truth we’re not allowed to know, and the strongest and smartest of us must be held back because we’ll figure it out? I wonder the same thing.” She looked shocked, and I used the opportunity to sweep her legs. She fell but hooked her legs around mine and turned my body, causing me to land hard on my stomach. She held the wooden knife against my throat. 

“I’m not stupid enough to play soldier in this pathetic world,” she said, lifting the knife from my neck. She rose to her feet and stalked away. 

“You’re not really suited to be a soldier, are you?” Reiner said after Annie. She ignored him. 

Keeping the strongest and smartest of the cadets away from outside of the walls was essential in making sure the truth of the Titans and walls never came out, I thought. How many of them found out the truth anyway and decided it wasn’t worth the trouble? 

Armin was talking about something, but it was going in one ear and out the other. I had been intently listening to Jean’s technique he used with maneuver gear. He was being really cocky and throwing glances in Mikasa’s direction every couple of seconds. I smiled and took a bite of the same old soup. As we were leaving the mess hall, I approached Mikasa. 

“Hey, I know we haven’t really spoken much in the past few days. I apologize if I upset you, Mikasa.” I grabbed her hand and rubbed the bandage she had wrapped around her right wrist. 

“Remember when you showed it to me? Do you still trust me like that?” I asked. 

“Erin, I will always trust you.” She said. 

“Then why won’t you talk to me? You’ve been keeping your distance for the past couple of days, it’s really unlike you.” I sighed. 

“I just… I wanted to give you space.” She admitted. 

“Huh?” 

“I know I can be protective and overbearing.” She said. “I just wanted to give you and Reiner space.” 

So we were more obvious than I had originally thought. 

“Thank you, Mikasa, I appreciate that. But, I still want to talk to you. I actually kind of miss you coddling me the way you do.” 

Mikasa put her head against mine, I wrapped my arms around her and enveloped her in a tight hug. “Let’s be more honest with each in the future.” I said. 

“Alright.” 

218 of us had made it to graduation. I was nervous, excited, and terrified. A lot of shit was about to go down and I wasn’t sure if I was prepared for it. At the ceremony, I played with my hair nervously next to Mikasa. 

“Stop messing with your hair, or it will fall out.” She said. 

“What? No, it won’t.” I said. 

“Keep doing that and I bet in five years you’ll be bald.” 

“Hmm,” I said and rolled my eyes. I had already changed a couple of things in the timeline. First, I was in a relationship with Reiner. Not quite sure how that will pan out in the upcoming months, but it was taking its toll on me mentally. Would Reiner act out? Would Bertholdt? Annie I think will still end up in the interior, but anything could happen. The second thing I changed was my ranking as a cadet. Training with Mikasa and Reiner had landed me in second behind Mikasa. 

“Hands over your heart!” A superior officer said. “From today on, you will no longer be soldiers in training. You have three choices. The Garrison Regiment, where you will be protecting cities and working to reinforce the walls. The Scout Regiment, where you must be prepared to take on Titans outside the walls. And the Military Police where you will protect the people and preserve order at the side of the king.”

“Naturally, the only ones who can join the Military Police are the top ten scorers who were announced earlier!” He finished. 

I glanced down the line, everyone had just shifted down except for the last six. Krista, Sasha, Connie, Marco, and Jean. I wondered if I could save Marco. He was a natural born leader, and I remember that his death had hurt a lot. The hurt would be amplified now that I had a real interpersonal friendship with him. The celebrations were already in order. 

“Hey Erin, are you going to join the Military Police?” Thomas asked. 

“Huh? No, I’m joining the Scout Regiment.” I took a sip of the drink in my hand. 

“What?! But you placed second to Mikasa. Why would you join the scouts?” 

“I came here to join the scouts. My placement is showing just how good of a soldier I could be. I want to fight the Titans.” I really wanted to free them. Though they were terrifying, they were still human beings. I would tell the scouts everything I knew once I joined them. Almost everything. In the back of my mind I was trying to hold on to Reiner, I had some hope for him. 

“You can’t beat them!” Thomas’s words shocked me. The entire room turned to look at the commotion. 

“You should know, they’ve eaten tens of thousands of people.” Thomas lowered his voice. “When we lost twenty percent of our population, the answer was clear. Humankind can’t defeat the Titans.” He looked downcast. 

“You’re wrong.” I took another sip “You think we should just give up and let them break through another wall? Because you think we can’t win against them?” 

“W-Well, I-,” he began. 

“You’re right about one thing, though. We have not made much success in our war against the Titans. But that’s because we still know little about them. We may lose, we may lose every time, but sometimes when we lose we learn from our losses. The knowledge that we gain is the key to fighting against them. The key to hope!” I felt myself becoming passionate, almost to tears. “Are we just going to abandon that little knowledge that we learn after so much sacrifice, just to become titan fodder? Are you serious?” My voice was raised and my cheeks were flushed. I’m sure my eyes were an angry green, the heat from my tears was blinding. “One day, we’re going to reclaim Wall Maria, and drive out all the Titans. I will see my dream fulfilled. Because I haven’t lost hope yet.” When I had finished people were staring at me, none looked inspired, but some looked scared. I was OK with that, though. I turned on my heel and left the hall. Armin and Mikasa followed me out. I sat on the steps, waiting for their comforting words and for Mikasa to run my back the way I liked. To lay my head on Armins shoulder. 

“Erin, your dream, it’s-,” 

“The same as yours, Armin. I want to go outside the wall. I want all of you to see that dream fulfilled.” I said, finally laying my head on his shoulder. I sighed. Mikasa wrapped her arm around me and leaned into me. 

“I’m joining the scouts with you!” Armin announced. 

“I’m not surprised. The scouts could use a brain like yours.” 

“I’m joining the scouts too,” Mikasa said. 

“I knew you would, you’re never going to leave me, are you?” I teased. 

“Only when you’re with Reiner, I don’t want to see that,” she teased back. 

“I don’t even know if Reiner is joining the scouts, I’m pretty sure he’s joining the Military Police with Bertholdt and Annie.” I said 

“That’s fine, too.” Mikasa said. 

“Yeah, you’re fine with that because you’d have me all to yourself again.” I said, nudging her. She lifted my old scarf over her mouth and blushed. 

They went ahead without me, though Mikasa lingered until she figured out I was waiting for Reiner. I was thinking maybe he didn’t want to see me tonight, so I got up and started walking. I passed an alleyway and muscular hands came and grabbed me from behind; I screamed in terror. The man let go of me and I saw that that man was Reiner. 

“Why would you do that?!” I screamed at him. 

“I wanted to surprise, I’m sorry!” He said, reaching out to touch me. I cringed away from him and shut my eyes as tight as possible. 

“Please save me.” I whimpered and collapsed to my knees. “I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me! Mikasa, hel-,” 

“What’s wrong?!” Reiner was panicked and confused, just much as I was. I stayed there, silently weeping. Reiner hesitantly encircled me in an embrace and I cried into his chest. He ran his hands through my hair and stroked my back. 

“Everything is going to be alright, I will not hurt you. Ever.” He whispered into my ear and kissed my hair. “Tell what’s wrong, Erin.” 

I leaned more into his chest and turned my head to the side so I could look up at him. His hazel eyes were dark and concerned. 

“If I tell you, promise me you won’t tell anyone else.” I sniffled. 

“I would tell no one your secrets.” He removed his hand from my back to wipe my tear-streaked cheeks. 

“OK.” I took a deep breath. “You know how Mikasa is my adopted sister?” 

He nodded.

“I never really told anyone how that happened.” I sighed and took in another deep breath. “Her parents were murdered by human traffickers, they wanted to sell her. I found her and I killed two of the men that had kidnapped her.” 

“Oh my god, that’s-,” 

“But there was another man, I was too exhausted to fight him. He tried to rape me.” I finished. I felt relieved. I never told daddy, but that night when he examined me for injuries afterwards there was this look in his eyes that told me he knew what had almost happened. Mom probably knew too, and now they were both dead. 

“I’m sorry.” He said. 

“What do you have to be sorry for?” I asked. It struck me that there might be lots of things he was sorry about, and I looked away from him.

“Is that why you haven’t let me touch you like before?” He suddenly asked. “We haven’t, you know… made love since that night.” He said shyly. He looked ashamed to even ask. 

“Made love?” I giggled at the term he had used “You’re probably right.” I said. “Can you just,” I paused and then clasped our fingers together, bringing them to mouth and kissing them lightly. 

“I want you, Reiner Braun.” I said. “But for now, I just want you to hold me.” he pulled me tighter against his chest.

“I love you.” I whispered softly.

“I know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this instead of a rough draft I have due lol. school is closed anyway. It snowed!!! On valentines day!!! In TEXAS!!! I woke up this morning and saw more snow than I've seen in 12 years. But it's also kind of bad because like we weren't prepared at all. Got cooped up in my dorm on valentines with my friends and wrote this, smoked some weed, watched anime. Good times.


	3. 5 Years Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trost with some minor differences

“Wow, there’s a lot of people here.” I said. 

“Yeah, that because not a lot has changed in the past five years, I guess we can’t really revert back.” Hannah said. 

“The wall has been reinforced though, now maybe the colossal titan won’t try to break it down.” Franz said. “Hey look! It’s the Scout Regiment.” 

We joined the crowd of other onlookers and cadets. Some shouted encouragement to Commander Erwin Smith. Erwin simply looked straight ahead. 

“Hey look! It’s Captain Levi! I heard he has the strength of an entire brigade!” Someone else said. 

Maybe the strength of a large platoon but an entire brigade was a really big stretch, I thought. 

“Hey! Erin!” A familiar voice called out my name. I turned and looked over my shoulder. 

“Hannes!” I smiled warmly. 

“I heard you graduated, and I wanted to congratulate you, look at you still as short as ever.” He mussed my hair. 

“Hey, I grew like a couple inches!” I defended myself. 

“Huh? You Still look like a puny twelve-year-old to me.” 

“I’m seventeen now! Hey, how did a drunkard like you end up becoming captain of the stationary troops, anyway.” 

“I won’t tell, Erina.” He chaffed. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save your parents.” He suddenly brought up. 

“That’s old news Hannes, I miss them, but we need to keep moving forward.” I said he hummed in agreement, but his eyes were sad. 

“You know, your father saved many people. I wish he were still around.” He said and patted my shoulder. 

“Me too.” 

“Well, better get going.” He walked away. 

“Huh?! You’re really going to join the Scout Regiment? I thought you wanted to join the Military Police.” I said to Connie. 

Connie was doing maintenance on another canon as I cleaned one myself, “Well, yeah I did, but I didn’t want to be stuck with Jean. Also…,” 

“Looks like your speech the other night inspired some people, Erin.” Thomas said. 

“N-No really, I just didn’t want to end up in the same squad as Jean.” Connie said 

“That doesn’t really explain why you want to join the Scout Regiment.” Thomas said. 

“Shut up! It’s my decision.” Connie shouted. 

Thomas threw his hands up defensively and laughed. “Don’t be embarrassed, Connie. You’re not the only one…,” 

Sasha appeared “Excuse me, everyone! Look what I got,” she retrieved some meat from the inside of her jacket. “I found it in the officers’ pantry.” 

“Found it? Girl, you stole that.” I said. 

“You’ll be thrown in a solitary cell for that! Go put it back. You really are stupid, you know that!” Samuel said. 

“She’s so stupid it’s scary.” Connie said. 

“We can split it up and eat it with bread.” She started saying more to herself. 

“Go put it back!” Connie said. 

“He’s right, meat is really valuable right now, you should put it back,” Mina said. 

“We’ll be fine…” she put it in a storage container. “Once we reclaim the land, there will be plenty of meat.” 

“I’ll have some meat then,” Thomas said. 

“Me too!” Samuel joined. 

“Huh?! Weren’t you all literally scolding her a second?” I asked. 

“Don’t just stand there, Erin, get back to work or we’ll get busted.” Samuel said. 

I was dumbfounded. They’re all idiots. I walked back over to my canon and began cleaning it. The lighting and the loud thunderclap that followed caught me off guard. I was staring the colossal titan right in the eye. 

“That’s right, its today, isn’t it?” I said to myself, frozen. Everyone else was also unmoving, and then I remembered the steam that the colossal titan produced. 

“Everyone off the wall! Switch to your maneuver ge-,” I was caught off by the Colossals steam attack. We were all pushed back from the wall and I switched to my ODM gear in time to be hanging from the wall, away from the Colossal’s steam. 

Samuel had been knocked unconscious from the attack and was falling. Sasha went after him. 

“He broke the gate!” I yelled. I maneuvered back onto the top of the wall. 

“Hey, we can attack you just have to watch out for the steam!” I yelled down to my comrades. I charged toward the Colossal. I had to incapacitate his arms, it’s the least I could do. Right on cue, he lifted his arm in preparation to knock all the canons off. I latched on to him and released my gas, flying towards him. I sliced up part of his arm and landed on his upper forearm. Releasing my wires, I ran as fast as I could up his arm to get him out of the nape. He released his steam, scalding my exposed skin. And then he vanished. 

“Erin, is he dead? Did you kill it?” Thomas yelled down. 

“No, it just vanished. Thanks for the support by the way!” I said sardonically. I was back on top of the wall now. 

“We have to fix the wall before Titans get in,” Connie said. 

I thought about transforming right there; I hadn’t attempted it since father… but I had to try. 

“Hey, what they hell are you doing? Operations underway now that the colossal titan has appeared! Return to HQ, stat!” We were all standing at attention. “If you engaged with it, make sure you turn in a report!”

“Yes, Sir!” I said. 

“Good luck to the advance guards, Sir!” Connie said. 

We made it to HQ and were given instructions. Armin was having a hard time filling his gas up. 

“It’s OK, Armin, relax.” I said, but his hands were shaking. 

“There’s a giant Boulder near the outer gate, but we don’t have the time or the power to use it to seal the gate.” Armin said. 

“I know.” I furrowed my brows. 

“If we don’t seal it, this town will be destroyed.” 

“And we’ll have lost more land to the Titans,” I said. “But Armin, this won’t be like five years ago, we won’t lose. Not this time.”

We all gathered in the yard for further instruction. 

“You will break up into the squads you were assigned to during training! You will be under the garrison regiment and your duties will be to assist with supplying and logistics, transmitting information, and search and destroy missions. The garrison regiment will intercept and hold the vanguard. The Cadet Corps will provide backup in the middle, and the Garrison Regiments elite troops will protect the rear. Guard wall rose with your lives until every citizen is evacuated!” Desertion in the face of the enemy will be met with capital punishment. Be prepared to sacrifice your lives! Dismissed!

“Sir!” We all said at once. People were scrambling. Some people were crying or throwing up. Others were crying and throwing up. As I was walking away, Jean ran right into me. 

“Out of my way!” He said. Pushing past me. 

I grabbed his arm “Hey! what’s wrong with you?” I asked. 

“What’s wrong? Were all going to die! That’s what’s wrong!” He shouted. 

“Calm down!” I said. 

He gripped my shirt, “‘Calm down’!? How am I supposed to stay calm in a situation like this?! They’re gonna eat me!” 

“No, they won’t Jean, we have training.” I said. 

“It’s different from that real thing.” 

“That may be so, but we went through that training together, Jean. You’re one of the best at omnidirectional gear. I know you’ll survive. We will survive today, and tomorrow you’ll be in the interior. Safe and sound, Jean.” He let go of me, and then stormed off. 

Mikasa had watched the whole interaction, “Erin, if things get difficult out there, please come find me.” 

“Mikasa, you know I can’t do that, I’d be abandoning my squad.” I said. 

“In times of chaos you can’t always follow the rules, your squad won’t be able to protect you. But I will.” She said. 

“Mikasa, I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself,” I said. 

“Cadet Ackerman. You’re specially assigned to the rear guard. Come with me.” Said a superior. 

“I’m not good enough, I’ll only be a burden!” She said. I made a silly face and pat her back. 

“Go.” I said. 

“I wasn’t asking, evacuation is behind schedule. We need the best soldiers guarding the people.” He left without another word. 

“Go, I’ll be fine,” I said. 

She put her head down “You’re right, I wasn’t thinking straight. You better not die out there.” 

I reached up and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “I won’t.” 

We were waiting on the rooftops, awaiting orders. Armin was shaking. 

“Armin, remember we’re going to survive this.” I said reassuringly. 

“Right.” 

“Let’s see who can kill the most Titans.” Thomas said. 

“No.” I crossed my arms. “It’s not about numbers today. We need to work as a team to bring down these Titans. They’re the real deal, we could die.” I said seriously. 

“Squad thirty four move out, you’re going to support the vanguard.” 

“Alright everyone, move out and remember not to use too much gas.” 

“Yeah!” 

We ran along the rooftops and flew high above them as well; I had spotted the Titans. 

“There’s a lot of them. We’ll have to be careful don’t get overwhelmed.” I said. I scanned the area and spotted one on a roof. It jumped.

“Watch out for the abnormal!” I cried. But it was too late the abnormal had caught Thomas in its mouth. 

“Shit!” I said. “Everyone, we’re going to have to deal with its legs first.” I said. They were staring in horror. “Guys? Snap out of it!” 

“What are we going to do?” Mina sobbed. 

“We’re going to stay as far away from its hands and mouth, attacking its legs first. Once it’s down, one of us will finish it off. Understood?” 

“Yes!” 

We moved out, heading towards the abnormal. 

“Nak, don’t get so far ahead of me!” I shouted after him. Just then, a titan jumped and bit his legs off. He crashed into a roof. I quickly cut into its nape and went to Samuel. Mina had gotten crushed in the palm of another titan. Armin was on the opposite roof. 

“Armin, where’s Mylius?” I asked. Armin was panicked and frozen in fear. I spotted Mylius in the hands of a titan and readied myself to kill, but then I saw a titan approach Armin. I chose Armin over Mylius in a heartbeat. “I’m sorry!” I yelled towards Mylius with tears in my eyes. I cut the nape of the Santa Claus looking titan and grabbed Armin. “Hey! Snap out of it!” 

“Erin? You’re still alive?” Armin asked. 

“Yes, but our entire squad is dead. We have regroup somewhere.” I said, running my hands through my hair. I twisted it into a makeshift bun to hold it in place.

“Hey! Armin! Erin! Are you two okay?” Connie landed on the roof next to me. Armin was still spacing out.

“I’m OK. Armin is in shock. The rest of our squad is dead. Nak over there bled out.” I said, pointing with my blades.

“We can’t stay here, we have to go.” Connie said. 

“Hey Krista, Ymir,” I said sullenly as I notice them land on the roof. 

“So, just you and Armin, huh?” Ymir said. 

“I’m so sorry, Erin. This must be awful for you.” Krista said. 

“No, I’m the one that should be sorry. We shouldn’t have gone after that abnormal titan.” I said under my breath. I felt a raindrop against my cheek as I turned and looked at the sky. The retreat bells sounded. 

“Let’s go back to HQ first, I need gas.” 

HQ as it turns out was being overrun by Titans. 

“How did that happen?” I asked, Armin was close by. He wouldn’t leave my side. 

“They’re cowards.” Jean was now standing next to me. “We’re all going to die because of them.” His face was grim. 

“What happened to the quartermasters? Were they all wiped out something?” Connie asked. 

“They lost the will to fight,” Jean told Connie. “I don’t really blame them… they abandoned their duty to help us and locked themselves inside HQ.” 

“That explains why there’re Titans all over the place. How do they expect us to save their asses when they’re the ones with the gas?” I chimed in. 

“Well then, we have to go there! If we lose our mobility, then we really are doomed!” Connie shouted. 

“Do you think we could really do that? All the senior soldiers in the vanguard were wiped out. Who here could take over in the face of death? And even if they did, we’d be totally helpless against the Titans…,” Jean put his head down.

“You need to stop thinking that, it’s depressing.” I shifted uncomfortably. 

“Well, it’s the truth. There’s probably three to four meter Titans inside the facility, we wouldn’t be able to do anything. If I’d known this would happen, I would’ve told her…,” Jean sat, holding his knees to his chest. 

“Told who? Tell her what?” I asked. 

“It’s not important anymore.” 

I heard Mikasa shouting my name and turned my head in her direction. “Mikasa! Over here!” I said, waving. 

She crossed the roof and tightly embraced me, “I’m so glad you’re alive.” 

“Yeah, me too,” I stroked her and back, looking behind her, and I spotted Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie. Marco was also with them. “I’ll be right back.” I said, letting go of Mikasa and crossing the rooftops. 

“Hey, Reiner.” I said approaching their group. Reiner nodded and smiled.

“Hey Erin, where’s the rest of your squad?” Marco asked. 

I tucked loose hair behind my ears, “It’s just me and Armin, the rest of my squad perished.” 

There were gasps on the crowded rooftop, “That’s what will happen if we go against the Titans,” a cadet said, freighted. 

“If we clear out those Titans, then we can get gas and head for the wall,” Mikasa said, joining my side And Armin soon after. “Me and Erin could do it together, Armin told me she was able to kill some Titans.” 

“That’s right, Erin saved my life.” Armin said. 

“But even with Erin and Mikasa, there’s too many of them.” Marco interjected. 

“We can do this, we have to. So I can continue to protect Erin.” Mikasa said, whispering the last part to herself. Though everyone still heard it. 

I put my hand on Mikasa’s as she gripped her blades, “Mikasa, were all stronger together.” 

She nodded her head, “In this world it’s kill or be killed, and I’m not resigned to death. I can’t live unless I fight.” She went ahead of all of us and started for HQ. 

“Hey, did they teach you to let a fellow soldier fight alone?!” Jean shouted from across the rooftops. “You’re all cowards!” Jean finished and headed after Mikasa. I followed after him. 

“Mikasa will help clear a path but be wary of other Titans!” I shouted. 

“She’s moving so fast,” Connie said. 

Me and Armin observed she was using lots of gas, “Everyone! Support Mikasa!” I ordered it for anyone who would hear me. Mikasa used a burst of gas to kill a titan that was in front of me. She rolled onto the roof nearest to a Titan and I landed next to her. 

“I’m out,” she said. “And were so close too.” 

I looked over at HQ, “there really is too much to take on, and we’re all low or out of gas. Mikasa, do you trust me? Like fully one hundred percent?” 

“Yes, you’ve asked me this before. The answer will always be yes.” She grabbed my shoulders and had a concerned look on her face. 

“Mikasa, I have these powers. They will help us reach HQ. I’ll need you to stand back and not freak out OK?” 

“What are you talking about, Erin?!” 

“Just trust me!” The titan noticed us and was approaching. I ran off the roof and bit hard into my hand. Tasting the blood that filled my mouth, I needed to protect Mikasa. lighting consumed me as I felt fleshy walls submerge my body. It was hotter than anything I experienced in my life. This is probably what it felt like to be a tamale, I thought to myself. I was now seeing out of its eyes, I was high above the ground and I turned my head towards Mikasa, she was looking at me in shock. I turned my attention towards the titan in front of me. I punched its head off, but my fingers all broke and flew off with it. They regenerated in mere seconds. 

“C’mon Mikasa, we have to go!” I heard Armin’s voice. 

“B-But Erin!” She said, pointing at me. Armin froze. Connie landed next to them. “Are you two okay?” Connie Asked them. 

“Yeah,” Armin said. “Mikasa, where’s Erin?” She began pointing at me again. Another titan appeared, I roared at it, to my surprise it roared back. I got into my fighting stance, dark hair falling into eyes. It charged, and I punched it in the face. Its head flew off and crashed along the rooftops, eventually landing in a building. The titan collapsed and dissipated. My hand began regenerating. When I looked over, Mikasa, Connie, and Armin were gone. They were on their way to HQ and worry for Mikasa had built up in me. I had to kill all the Titans there so that she wouldn’t get hurt. I started running for HQ, killing any titan in my way. I would kick them and stomp on small ones until they were nothing but red stains on stone. Two Titans had bashed their heads into the stone of the supply depot, creating a large hole in the wall. I punched them hard, and they went flying. I saw Armin, Mikasa, and Connie crash into the windows. My duty now was to protect this building. 

I grabbed a larger titan, tore its nape off and then threw its body into a group of smaller Titans. Other Titans were now surrounding me, paid little mind to the small ones and instead focused on the larger ones. My limbs felt heavy as I tore into the Titan. I had tried hardening my fist, but all I could manage was a small crusting on my fingers. I should’ve known that I would have to learn the abilities, it was naïve of me to think that I would have them all right away. My fist pounded into the face of another large Titan. As I was heading to finish it, another titan started biting into my leg. Another one joined in and chewed into my other leg. I fell backwards into a building. More Titans gathered around me and started eating me. I caught Mikasa on the roof, staring at me. Others joined her. Armin, Marco, Jean, Reiner… shit. Well, they would’ve found out, anyway. Then, in my peripherals, I saw the abnormal that killed Thomas. For the first time, I felt myself go out of control. I pushed myself off the building, some of my limbs were torn off by the other Titans. I used my last leg and pushed myself hard off the ground, lunging at the abnormal. Seeking my teeth into its nape and using its body to fend for myself from the rest of the Titans. I tried to regenerate, but I couldn’t anymore. I tossed the abnormal’s body into a large Titan that came near me. It crashed into a building and didn’t look like it would be getting up. I collapsed onto my knees, roaring, and felt myself emerge. I was lightheaded. The only thing I could see was Mikasa, and I smiled at her before losing full consciousness. 

I was warm; it was comfortable. Like how I would imagine being wrapped in multiple blankets would be. 

“I’ll save them…” I turned my head. “Huh? Armin?...,” 

“Erin, can you move? Are you alright?” He was throwing multiple questions my way. “Tell them everything you know I’m sure they’ll understand!” 

“Armin, what are you talking-,” I saw we were surrounded by Garrison soldiers and Mikasa was standing in front of us protectively. “How did we get here? Why are they all looking at me like that?” 

“You don’t r-remember turning into a Titan?” Armin asked 

“Cadets Jaeger, Ackerman, and Arlert! Your actions constitute treason! I’m conducting an inquiry to decide what to do with you.” A captain yelled. It was the same one that gave us our orders. “If you don’t tell the truth or if you move from that spot, we will fire the cannon without hesitation. Answer this! What are you! Are you human? Or Titan?”

I see, “I’m a human with Titan shifting abilities, you have nothing to fear, I will not harm you! I request to be taken to the Scout Regiment for further questioning!” 

They were stunned into silence. The commander continued. “If you are what you say you are, how do we know you’re not working with the Armored Titan?! What are your intentions!?” 

“You don’t. I will answer no more questions!” I shouted back. 

“Erin!” Armin said. 

“Captain, we should just kill them now! If we blow her up while she’s still pretending to be human-,” 

“I won’t allow that to happen!” Mikasa shouted. “I’ll kill you all before you have the chance, it’s a special talent of mine.” Her face darkened. She was serious. 

“Mikasa, what good will fighting with them do? Talk with them!” Armin pleaded. 

“Not if they want to kill Erin,” She was prepared to kill them, for me. It was a scary and comforting thought. 

“They just don’t understand! They’re afraid!” Armin argued. 

“I will ask one more time. What are your intentions?!” The Captain said. 

“To save humanity!” I yelled without thinking. 

The Captain was silent. He slowly raised his hand up to signal the cannon. Mikasa grabbed me and headed for the wall. The key to my father’s basement slipped out of my shirt and I was overcome with the memories of the night father had turned me into a titan shifter. I had the knowledge, but the memories were vivid and I felt a sharp pain in my skull. 

_“You must take back wall Maria and go to the basement. One day when you make it to the basement you will learn the truth!,”_ the truth. I already knew the truth. I swiveled out of Mikasa’s grasp and made my way to Armin. “Brace for impact!” I said, biting my hand. I transformed quickly enough to stop the cannon ball from harming us. Smoke and steam obscured my vision. My eyes were heavy lidded, I wouldn’t be able to keep this up much longer, I was surprised I could transform at all. I emerged from my Titan and slid down the spine. My titan was half a skeleton. What surprised me the most was that on the side that had muscles and tissue there was breast. Now I was embarrassed. I came around the rib cage to find Armin and Mikasa safe and sound. 

“Thank god y’all are alright.” I said. 

“Erin! What is this?” Armin asked

“My Titan. I’ll explain everything when we’re not in danger.” I replied. “They’re probably going to fire another cannonball at us, and I’m not sure if I can transform again to protect you. If we are to understand the whole truth though, we must retake wall Maria and I have to be alive to do that.” I gripped the key. “I don’t think these guys understand that, and talking is obviously not on the table.” The head of my Titan’s skeleton collapsed and caused more smoke to rise. My nose started bleeding. 

“Erin, you pale and your breathing is ragged… you’re obviously injured somewhere.” Armin said. 

“Yeah, I’m exhausted from using my powers too much. My body is overwhelmed.” I explained. “You guys should try to convince them to arrest me or something, so you don’t get killed.” 

“Erin. I will die with you if that’s what it takes. I will not leave you alone.” Mikasa said. 

“Mikasa… I’m going to die, anyway. Don’t die with me now.” 

“Erin, what do you mean?” Armin asked now, afraid. 

“More things I’ll have to explain later, please save yourselves.” I tried to stand, but I fell to my knees. Shit. The spine collapsed, giving me a little more time to regain my strength.

“Stay there Erin,” Armin said, raising to his feet. “I’ll convince them you’re not a threat.” He turned on his heel and disappeared into the smoke and steam. 

“So you’ve finally shown yourself, you monster! I’ll do it, I’ll give the signal!” I heard the captain yell. 

“Erin is not an enemy to humankind! She is willing to share everything she knows with you!” I heard Armin yell back. It was true, but I couldn’t have everyone knowing just yet. 

“I won’t let you beg for your lives when she has shown herself to be a monster! It’s too late for that now. If she’s not a monster, then prove it!” The captain said. 

“There’s no need for proof! The issue is not with Erin.” 

“Huh!?” 

“If you saw her, then you saw that she was fighting the Titans. And you saw that the other Titans were trying to eat her! In other words, the Titans saw her as prey like they do humans. It’s irrefutable!” Armin said. There were murmurings of agreement. 

“Prepare for attack! Don’t fall for their titan tricks!” The captain yelled. “We have never understood Titans, if they can take our form and use our language. That means they can trick us as well!” He stated. “We can’t let them do that to us any longer!” 

The smoke had cleared; the captain was beyond frightened. Armin looked at me. He was frightened too, and then his fear turned into resolve. 

“I have pledged my heart as a soldier to save humanity. If I perish today fulfilling that pledge, then so be it! If we combined her ‘titan abilities’ with our remaining troops, we may be able to retake this town! Erin Jaeger is a valuable fighting asset! In the name of humankind and my last moments alive, please think about this rationally!” His speech reached the other soldiers, but not the captain. Asshole. He was raising his hand to fire another cannonball but was stopped by an older man. 

“General Pyxis!?” The captain was startled. I was too far away to hear them, but Armin collapsed and was gasping. His shoulders were relaxed. I guess we were safe for now. 

Pyxis was walking along Wall Rose and drinking alcohol. We stared at him curiously. 

“I should’ve known I wouldn’t find one… I wouldn’t mind being eaten if it were by an attractive female Titan. Say, cadet Jaeger, I heard your titan form- was female…,” he trailed off. 

I cringed, “With all due respect Sir, I don’t think it would be appropriate to continue with that sentence.” I said. 

He laughed. “You’re right, though…” 

I grew ever more uncomfortable. 

“So, tell me what you know, Erina Jaeger.” He said. 

“It’s a very long story, Sir, and we don’t have a lot of time. Basically, my father gave me these powers. He said everything I would need to know is in the basement of my house. Unfortunately for us, the basement is in Shinganshina.” I said. 

“So everything is in the basement, in a place we can’t reach. Since you have no proof of this, I will have to keep it in mind, however I think I can tell when someone is holding back the truth. I will guarantee your lives for now, but Cadet Jaeger, you will have to tell us the information that you are withholding soon.” He said. 

“Thank you, I will, sir.” I said. 

“Cadet Arlert, was it?” He moved on to question Armin. I was glad. 

“You said earlier that if we used her titan abilities, we might be able to retake Trost. Do you think that’s possible? Or did you just say that to save your lives?” 

“It was both, actually. I was trying to say that Erin can become a titan and carry that large Boulder to seal the gateway that was destroyed. It was just something I thought of on the fly. I hoped you could see how Erina’s power could change our present situation.” Armin said. He hadn’t called me Erina in a long time. Pyxis turned his back and looked upon the ruined city. 

“I said it in a desperate hope that it would save our lives!” Armin confessed. 

“I believe you.” Pyxis turned back around and kneeled in front of me. “So, Cadet Jaeger…,” 

I lifted my head to stare into his eyes. 

“Think you can seal that hole?” 

“Yes, I know I can.” I hoped I could. “I just hope that I don’t exhaust myself, you see, I’ve already transformed twice today, and I was out for a couple of hours after I emerged from my Titan. After transforming a second time, my nose was bleeding, and I was even more exhausted. If I transform, I will need all the support you can give me, sir.” I said honestly. 

“So you’ll do it?” His stare was hard and threatening. 

“Even if I had a choice, of course I will do it.” Maybe it was wrong to challenge his stare, but I did it anyway. “I do have one request though, if you will allow it.”

Armin and Mikasa stared at me, their faces a question. “There’s a certain Cadet I want to make sure stays safe,” I said. 

Mikasa interrupted, “Erin, I’m sure Reiner can take care of himself.” 

“I know that. I wasn’t talking about Reiner.” I said to her, cheeks flushed. “His name is Marco Bodt. I know everyone will be in danger, but I want Marco to stay back and be put in the supply depot.” I said. 

Pyxis nodded. “I’ll see what I can do, but everyone will be needed for this mission.” He patted my shoulders and got up. “Assemble the general staff, let’s work out a strategy!” Pyxis yelled over the wall. 

“Huh? He’s really going to try out the idea?” Armin said. 

“He sees your vision and it will work, we must trust him.” I said. 

“We’re in a race against time. There’s work to be done, young soldiers.” Pyxis said to us, his guards now around him. He approached the edge of the wall and prepared his plans with his officers. “Cadet Jaeger, walk with me.” I obliged him.

“Before the land was controlled by the Titans, it’s said that humankind fought endless ethnic and ideological wars. Someone said: ‘if a powerful enemy appeared that wasn’t human, the human race would come together and stop fighting.’ What do you think about that?” Pyxis asked. 

“Honestly, they’re half correct. But they are forgetting that humans didn’t just fight over ethnicity and ideology though, they fought over land, resources, power. Let’s say this enemy was sentient. What if one group negotiated with it to help destroy another group? We often overlook that there are those that actively seek the destruction of humanity. It’s too idealistic to think we all would come together to destroy a powerful enemy.” I said. 

“That’s a very interesting answer, I like it. I think you and me are very similar, Cadet Jaeger.” He smirked. 

I spotted Hannes working with the cannons and I waved at him; he looked relieved. 

Pyxis took out a flask and took a sip from it. “Here, have some.” He said handing it to me. 

“Hell yeah!” I took a sip. It burned a bit on the way down, but it was nice to finally have some alcohol after all these years. “Ah, this is some fine wine. Where did you get it?” I asked. 

“I honestly expected you to spit it out,” he laughed. 

“Wine of this quality? Never!” I said. 

“Yeah, you and I are going to get along just fine.” He laughed, approaching the edge of the wall. He cleared his throat, “ATTENTION! I will now explain the plan to retake Trost District! Our objective for the plan’s success is to seal the hole in the broken gate. As for how we will seal the hole, let me start by introducing this young woman: Erina Jaeger or the Cadet Corps!” He announced, and I put my right hand over my heart and the other behind my back. “She is the successful product or top-secret experiment to create a human that can transform into a titan! She can create and control a Titan body at will. After transforming into a titan, she will lift the boulder near the front of the gate and carry it to the destroyed gate to seal the hole. Your job will be to protect her from other Titans while she carries the boulder!” They listened to his plans in shock, the other cadets and soldiers were murmuring nervously, then one yelled that they would not die and that they quit and many followed after him. I saw the captain that tried to kill me threatened them. 

“On my authority! Anyone who leaves right now will be pardoned! A person who succumbs to their fear of Titans, can never face a titan again. Those who have lived through the horror of Titans. Should leave now! As should those who want their parents, siblings, and loved ones to relive that horror! Leave here now!” Many left, and I didn’t blame them. 

“Now let’s talk about four years ago when we tried to reclaim Wall Maria. I don’t think you need me to remind you, but it was the government’s way of getting rid of unemployed citizens that it couldn’t support. We drove thousands of people outside the walls so that we could survive. There was no rebellion because so few people lived inside Wall Maria, but if Wall Rose is breached, it won’t be twenty percent of the population that will be forced out. If humanity perishes, it won’t be because of the Titans. I beseech you, die here!” 

I watched as Pyxis talked to the Garrison officers after his speech concluded. 

“Erin, I’m sorry you have to be burdened by all this responsibility.” Armin said. 

“It’s fine Armin, you did a great job and saved our lives. Thank you.” I hugged him. 

“Erin, maybe I should go with you-,” 

“Mikasa, you will be where you’re supposed to be promise me you won’t try to save me if something goes wrong, OK?” I asked. 

“You know I can’t do that.” She said. 

“At least I can say I tried.” I let go of Armin and hugged Mikasa. She rested her head on top of mine. 

“Ackerman, you’re joining the elite troops to protect Jaeger.” A soldier who I learned was named Ian, said. 

“Ah, looks like you got your wish,” I teased. 

“We need your talents. Move out were commencing operations.” Ian left and Mikasa and I followed him. 

“Bye, Armin! Don’t die, OK?” I called out, waving to him. 

“I won’t.” He said, determined. 

“Pyxis called you a top-secret weapon. Well, I don’t care what you are as long as you can plug that hole.” Ian said. 

“Erin, how are you feeling?” Mikasa asked. 

“I’m not exhausted anymore if that’s what you’re worried about.” I replied. 

“To think we have to put the fate of humanity into the hands of a spoiled brat like you.” Mikasa glared at the soldier that said that. But I understood where he was coming from. The plan could fail and it would mostly be my fault. 

“That’s enough, we’re nearing the route to the boulder. There aren’t any Titans so the other plan must be working.” Ian said. 

“A word of caution, Jaeger.” Rico said while catching up with me. “A lot of soldiers are going to die In this operation… because of you. They’re our fellow soldiers, our seniors and juniors in the ranks. We are prepared to die, but they aren’t just replaceable pawns. They have names, faces, and families.” She started listing the names of her comrades. She was preparing herself for the loss and letting me know I had to succeed so that they didn’t die in vain. 

“I will succeed, Rico. Too many people have already died today already.” I ran ahead of her thinking of Thomas, Mina, Nak, and Mylius. I wiped a tear from my eye. 

When we reached our destination Rico released a green smoke flare, signaling we were beginning the operation. I menuverd along the rooftops, using most of my gas to get to the boulder as fast as I could. When I was upon it, I bit my hand and transformed. The flesh and light was enveloping me once again. I let out a roar and flexed my muscles. This titan should be powerful enough. As long as they protect me, I would be able to seal the hole. I looked over at the elite squad. They were looking at me expectantly and also nervously. 

I spoke, “It’s a really big boulder.” My own voice rumbled in my ears and I covered my mouth. 

“It can talk?” Matbi said. Here I was being dehumanized again.

I tried picking the boulder up, but it was way too heavy, only lifting it slightly off the ground. Heaving, I moved it from its original spot and onto the road to the gate. 

“So, you can’t lift the thing?” Rico said.

I shrugged my shoulders and scratched behind a pointed ear. 

Rico tsked and went to fire a red flare “Wait!” I roared. 

The elite squad pointed their swords at me. “Let me try again.” The words reverberate against the buildings. I squatted and wrapped my arms around the boulder. I knew I could lift the boulder, but could I hold it? And for how long? I Thanked God that the boulder was so close to the gate. I started lifting with my legs and stood. Shaking and screaming, I lifted the boulder above my head and began my slow pace to the broken gate. My body was steaming and the weight of the boulder on my shoulders made me feel like I was being crushed. Mikasa and the others would kill the few Titans that would get in my way. There weren’t a lot, thanks to the other soldiers all gathered on the walls. I was nearing the gate when a large fifteen meter Titan came through the hole. Should I just mash his body in? Rico blinded the titan and then Mikasa followed up by killing it. The steam from my body was obstructing my view, but the light coming from the hole shined through and I lunged with the boulder and threw it and myself into the hole. I shut my eyes, exhausted and sleepy from the feverish heat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no class all last week because of the snow, and now all my assignments have been pushed back and i gotta get busy with reading some linguistics book and witting an essay :) Turns out my building was the best place to be last week because not only was our water drinkable we had heat and power. I tried magic mushrooms,,, man,,, they were,,,something else. Strange how it was below ten degrees last week and is now almost 80, but i'm grateful. I really wanted to zoom through Trost because honestly it's a lot and not much would have changed. If Eren wasn't so full of rage and arrogance he wouldn't have gotten eaten and therefore wouldn't have changed which would lead to RBA going through with their plans. If Eren were eaten by the Santa Titan, spinal fluids and all, the guy would be old, no military experience, probably would be captured by RBA really easily. However he would know more about Marley and the threat they posed. The MP's would really want to silence him lol. Again, i'm not editing these chapters heavily so there's going to be mistakes, inconsistencies, and weird style issues,,,,

**Author's Note:**

> I literally shit this out, I don't know if you'll like it or not i'm really writing this for myself (and for the inevitable rewrite that I might do anyways). Lord knows it ain't gonna be a happy ending.


End file.
